Public Blog
Sensate Focus: Why Trying Less Often Leads to More in Sex
Many couples discover that the harder they try to fix their sex life, the more pressure and anxiety they feel. Sensate Focus offers a counterintuitive alternative: stop trying to make arousal happen and redirect attention to simple physical sensation instead. In this article, I explain why this paradox works, how Sensate Focus functions as an attentional discipline rather than a technique, and why it plays a foundational role in my sexual intimacy coaching at WIMI.
Pornography: Choosing the Lesser Evil in a Broken Industry
Pornography will not disappear, and many people who want chastity still feel unable to quit. This reflection explores why mainstream porn causes real harm and why, for those not yet ready for abstinence, choosing the lesser evil matters. If you are still working toward freedom, there are safer and more honest steps you can take starting today.
Confronting the Philosophical Foundations of Modern Sexology: Why the Discipline Needs a Scholastic Re-Foundation for Meaningful Scientific Progress
Sexology has made enormous empirical progress, yet its core models still leave many people feeling unseen. This article explores why the field struggles to integrate meaning, relationship, and purpose into its scientific frameworks and argues that a return to sound philosophical foundations can strengthen both research and clinical care.
Meet the Not Weird Sex Coach
Most sex coaches highlight how comfortable they are working with every niche identity and subculture on the internet. That is great, but it can leave normal, married, heterosexual couples wondering if anyone still helps people like them. This article introduces my work as the not weird sex coach. I help ordinary couples improve intimacy without pressure, agendas, or strange vibes. If you have ever wanted support that feels grounded, human, and respectful of your values, this one is for you.
Guided Vaginal Self Exam: A Theory-Based Body Literacy and Embodiment Intervention for Women Experiencing Genital Disconnection
Many women carry fear, shame, or uncertainty about their bodies after difficult medical or sexual experiences. The Guided Vaginal Self Exam offers a private, nonsexual way to reconnect with the body through gentle, self-directed exploration. This approach adapts select elements of the Bodysex method while honoring modesty and personal values. It combines accurate education, structured self-touch, and trauma-informed pacing to help clients view and understand their anatomy with confidence. This article explains the theory behind the intervention, outlines the safeguards that make it ethical, and shows how it may support healing for women who feel disconnected from their bodies.
The Fourfold Intimacy Model: Bridging Classical Anthropology and Contemporary Marriage Research
The Fourfold Intimacy model, developed by the Walther Institute for Marital Intimacy (WIMI), defines intimacy as an interpersonal state of secure vulnerability and identifies four essential dimensions: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. Drawing from classical anthropology and modern psychology, the model offers a holistic framework for understanding how marriages flourish when all domains are nurtured together. This article introduces the model, traces its historical roots, and highlights practical ways couples can strengthen their connection across every dimension.