Normal, Distressing, or Diagnostic? How to Assess Desire Discrepancy Before You Try to Fix It

Most couples assume a desire mismatch means someone is broken, avoidant, or simply not trying hard enough. That is usually too shallow to be useful. This article explains how clinicians and informed couples can tell the difference between normal variation, meaningful distress, and a pattern that may require fuller evaluation. The goal is not to normalize everything or diagnose too fast. It is to assess the problem accurately before trying to solve it.